Quick note, the image I used today is a book called Love and Respect, which my wife and I read as we were preparing to be married. It remains one of the best books on marriage that I have read so far. Whether you have a great marriage or a struggling one, this book can put some tools in your tool belt to strengthen your marriage and get you out of the crazy cycle. Click here to view the Love and Respect website, or click here to purchase the book on Amazon or Christian Book Distributors.
1. What stood out to you from this chapter?
Paul moves from talking about living as a Christian in general to some specific Christian instruction for marriage and family. However he uses a word that raises the blood pressure of some people today who have fought for the "Independent Woman" model of feminism. This vein of feminism would suggest that no woman should ever have to submit to any man. It seems to be a pushback against the thought that every woman should submit to every man. Neither one of these is what Paul is teaching here. Paul shares with us that God's design for marriage is that the husband would be the head of the household, and that the wife should submit to the husband, and as we'll find out later the children would submit to their parents. Notice Paul doesn't place the wife on the level of the children, but rather as an equal with her husband. And yet, there is still this command to submit. I believe the key is then to read on to see the instructions Paul has for the husband. The husband is called to love and serve the wife like Christ loved and served the church, and Jesus died for us. That's an incredibly high calling. I have to believe that there are very few women who would really have a big problem "submitting to" and respecting a man who loved her like crazy and sacrificed for her, who made every decision with her best interests (or that of the family) in mind.
To bring a closure to this talk, and hopefully hit a few objections that arise, I believe that what Paul shares here is God's design for marriage. However, I realize that not every marriage is exactly what God designs. Sometimes one or the other spouse are not living according to God's call, and that makes it hard to submit, love, and respect. Other times there is only one parent in the picture. Those are obviously "exceptions", but I believe that if husbands and wives took this advice there would be a lot fewer "exceptions" today.
2. How does this passage relate to any other Scripture I know?
In verses 8-14, Paul uses the imagery of light and darkness to talk about our lives as Christians. Paul isn't the only apostle to use this example however. In 1 John 1-2, light and dark are used to talk about sin and the righteousness that is found in Christ. In another very familiar Christmas passage written 700 years before Jesus was even born, Isaiah also uses light and darkness to talk about the hope found in the Messiah. "On those living in the land of the shadow of death, a light has dawned." Light has always been a symbol of hope, truth, goodness, and peace.
3. So what does this mean for my life?
One phrase from this chapter really pierced any possible shred of self-righteousness I may have been feeling and caused me to remember my need for a Savior. In verse 3, Paul says, "there must be even a hint of..." and then lists a few things like sexual immorality, impurity of any kind, greed, obscenity, foolish talking, coarse joking, and getting drunk. Anyone convicted yet? Paul raises the bar for people (like me) who tend to think, "At least I haven't done THAT bad of stuff. I'm PRETTY good." To some degree, if that's you, you do have reason to celebrate how God has kept you from those things. However, our measure of good is not other people, nor is it our own ideas of what is right and wrong. Our measure of good is Jesus Christ, and the whole of Scripture. Lord, help me to have a filter on all of my thoughts, and all of my words, that they may be cleansed from all unrighteousness.
4. What questions do I have about this passage?
Ephesians 5:5-7 warns believers that those who live in disobedience by practicing these deeds (mentioned earlier) have any inheritance in the kingdom of God. Then verse 7 says, "Therefore do not be partners with them." What does this mean? My real question, when boiled down is, "What level of association are we supposed to have with people who are either unbelievers or living unrepentant sinful lives?" I know Jesus spent a lot of time with "sinners" because they were often eager to hear the good news about God's salvation through faith. So I am far from thinking that we should create a "holy huddle" and just gather up all of us "righteous people." That makes me want to throw up just saying it, because I know in my heart I wouldn't belong in that crowd. But I do feel like Paul is saying there is a "line in the sand" that should be drawn before we commit to a great relationship with them. I just did a little research on www.blueletterbible.org to help shed some light on this. He uses the word, "partners," which is maybe more accurately translated as "partakers," which the King James version uses. The word in Greek is symmetochos, which looks like the word symmetry. It seems as though Paul is saying, "Don't be a mirrored reflection of them. Don't look like people who do these things. Don't do what they do." It doesn't seem like he's saying, "Don't be around them at all." Well, I guess I helped answer my own question, but that's why I ask.
God bless, and join me tomorrow as I wrap up Ephesians with chapter 6.
In Christ,
Dan
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